Monday, March 15, 2010

On the Lam

This blog has a moral.  I'm going to tell you upfront what it is due to the complexity of the matter:  The retort "so sue me" stopped being witty in the fifth grade.

October before last I was convinced by a friend of mine to visit him in Ohio after much of my own protesting (see blog
 One Day I'll Learn...Maybe).  In the end he offered to pay for my ticket and provide me with food and lodging.  Sweet right?  Wrong.  I ended up yelled at and abandoned in a foreign state and, worst of all, I had to watch a parade.  The worst kind of parade too:  Kids who think they can play musical instruments but can't.

My anonymous friend, Chad, has since let me know that he would like the plane fare back.  I laughed but apparently it wasn't a joke (or certainly not a very good one).  He demanded I repay him, so I uttered the very words I had so many times as a petulant and bratty child:  "So sue me."  And he did.

I learned that he didn't find my retort funny when I received a notice in the mail that I was being sued from Ohio--where I would have to go to defend myself.  But that would require going back to Ohio and bad things happen when I travel.  I may even be subjected to *gulp* 
another parade.  Definitely not worth it.  Instead I let the court and Chad know that I was not going to recognize his right to sue me.  The court sent me a letter saying I owe him three hundred bucks.....and they think I'm paying it.  How funny!  I know I laughed.

As far as school goes.....some stuff happened, some stuff didn't, and a whole lot of things have been forgotten, neglected, or both by me.

My mother moved back from California, I guess she finally came to her senses.

Also I decided to join the Navy.  I'm tired of being looked down and discriminated against as a gay so I decided to go seek my fortunes where I'd be free to be myself!  In the military.  But they said I was too fat.  If it's not one thing, it's another.

This left me in need of a hobby to fill my time.  On the one hand I could get a new job.....OR I can drive around with out-of-date stickers on my car.  I chose the latter.  And then got tickets I couldn't afford because I hadn't chosen the former.  I told the court that I was unemployed and unable to pay the fines in the allotted timeframe.  Their response was up increase the total I owe by several hundred dollars.  Wait.....ummmm.....what?  That is the opposite of what is helpful.

Not being able to pay the amped up amount they thought it would be best if I went to jail...probably because they didn't know what happened the last time (read blog 
Jail and Bail).  So now I have six warrants out for my arrest until I give them fifteen hundred dollars.  Hence me now being a fugitive from the law.  Maybe I should change my  name and move?  Maybe to Kansas?  Or Ohio?
Quote of the Day:  “And most of all, I expect babies to be thrown.”