Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Winning Games

Okay, you know that game where two people stare at each other and the first to laugh loses?  Yea, I officially declare that game dumb.  Why?  Because I have never, in my ENTIRE life, won that game.  Naturally, the world should follow my own school of thought.

Seriously, I spent at least five minutes trying to play today, but I'm laughing before we even begin.  That's a new kind of talent right there!
So I have an idea for a game to replace the "Stare Until Jason Laughs" game.  I call it the "Stare Until One or Both of the Players is Incapacitated" game.  It goes like this:  Both players stare at each other.  The first one to die loses.  Sounds fun, eh?  Oh, and the players get guns. is it that all of my games turn out to be violent somehow?  I blame it on the media.

Quote of the Day:  "My favorite kind of llama is the one that teleports through time."

Saturday, January 7, 2006

Modern Art .1

I was a little bored, so I decided to become a connoisseur of fine modern art.

Already, I have crafted a one-of-a-kind masterpeice from the delicate art style called "photography".  I know that my newfound modern-art-connoisseur language may be a little lofty for the general populus with a disadvantaged sense of art, so I'll explain.  "Photography" is the art of taking these things called "photographs" on what is called, in the business, a "camera".  The particular "camera" that I used is called "digital".  this means that it sends the image magically through a cable and it appears on what I call my "computer".  But enough of the fancy modern-art-connoisseur language and on to the art!

This piece of modern art is beautifully named "Face with Churchbells in the Form of a Glass Cyllinder".  The name fits the piece incredibly!  Does it not just immediately invoke the emotion...of...ummm...modern-art-ness?

Quote of the Day:  "The term 'dead people' is quite misleading.  They're not really 'people', after all."

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

X-TREME Blogging

Okay, there is one thing I noticed about myself.  For such an easy-going guy, I am incredibly opinionated.  I'm opposed to a lot of things.  This came up today when I was thinking about sports.  And I started thinking about "extreme sports".  I'm not sure why.

So then I thought to myself, "
Self, know what I'm opposed to?"  And then I answered,"What?"  Then I replied, "People misspelling the word 'extreme.'"
I would like to point out that it seems to be a little-known fact that the word "extreme" is spelled E-X-T-R-E-M-E.  It appears that many people are under the impression that it is instead spelled like such: "X-treme".  I myself am not quite sure how so many people leave off the "E" and add a hyphen.  It's even the same number of characters, so it's not easier or anything.

The list goes on and on...are these people aware of their mistaken spellings I wonder?
Well, I shall take a part in correcting this catastrophic butchering of the English Language by making an extreme sport that is so overwhelmingly popular that everyone is exposed to the proper spelling of the word "extreme".  I call the sport Extreme Ballet.  It's like normal ballet, but with guns.  That, and the name becomes manly when you tack on the word "extreme".  With those two differences, I shall forever change the American vernacular!

Quote of the Day:  "I have a new theme song!  Laa-de-doo-de-daa-de-loo-doo-doooo-dum-didly-do-dee.....dum.....okay, I'll stop."

Sunday, January 1, 2006

The First of Many

Since I'm a slow person at doing a lot of things, I'm going to separate my New Years Resolutions throughout the year.  But I have a place to start.
Because of my amazing nature, I will begin with a magnanimous resolution.New Years Resolution #1:  Help other people become as perfect as me.That's about it for now.

Quote of the Day:  "I try to hold conversations with rocks, it just doesn't work out."