Friday, February 23, 2007

The Secret is Out

Yes, there is no use in hiding it anymore. I was monitoring the PFOX website (for those of you who don't know, PFOX stands for "Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays" that does indeed spell...PFOX and not PFEGG). So in my monitoring duties, I find out that they have stolen our "Top Secret Homosexual Secrets", which we abbreviate as TAWESOME.

Here is our top secret is revealed:

Gays actively recruit and are aware that there's no such thing as "born that way".

It's true, folks. We're recruiting now. Membership is running low, so we're thinking of instituting a draft. But you can't blame us, we have incentives too good to turn down. For every seven recruits, we get a FREE TOASTER-OVEN!!!

Join now! Along with our Homosexual Membership card, you learn the secret handshake, and you get a great beneft package including, but no limited to the following:

1. You get to be outcasted and shunned by peers! Hoo-rah!2. Free self-loathing and shame until you're able to admit to yourself that you are, in fact, gay years after realizing it.
3. Then you get to tell your family, whether they disown you or not!
4. You get an incredibly limited social life, with almost nobody to date!
5. And best of all, you get to see first-hand about how it feels to be completely alone and unable to share your feelings to even your closest of friends!!!
Join Today! (I need another toaster-oven...)

Quote of the Day:  "I can only travel through time by beating people up first."

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